Being a woman in your twenties
Written by Ruby Waters
Image: Isabel Butler
Being a woman in your twenties. It’s a period of life that everyone experiences in their own unique way. Half of the people you know are settling down, in their houses with their partners. Whereas the other half are still using tinder as a joke, and coming in from nights out at the same time everybody else is waking up. None of us are doing it wrong, I suppose each of us are just living this decade for the first time, an imperfect, perfect part of our lives.
When I’m in my twenties I will have bought my first house. It will have huge widows in the kitchen to let in the sunlight, with a big back garden, and a white wrap around porch. I will have gotten my second dog of whom I share with the person I’m going to marry in the next few years. Expecting a child just after the wedding.
When I’m in my twenties I’m going to have all of it figured out. Perfect job, perfect home, perfect life. But I’m now in my twenties. And believe me, I don’t have any of it figured out. There are parts of the jigsaw that are complete, but there are huge patches I just can’t seem to pair.
“Literally nothing is figured out for us.”
I made these plans long before the reality of life hit me with a low blow. Before I was taught about bills, and mortgages and their rising prices. Before I realised that I am a far reach away from working a job that doesn’t make me miserable. It was before I realised that the social norm might just not be for me.
The social norms of being a woman in her twenties. Maybe that is the correct way to start this conversation. Because in a way, those things were never what I wanted or wished for as a young girl looking to the future.
It was what I was taught in school, in films, and by the people around me. It was said that when we’re twenty were supposed to know everything. An eternal sensation of secureness would run through our homes and we’d wake up every morning to go to that dream job.
We’re past the age of making mistakes, because we made them all as teens, and as soon as our 20th birthday hits, adulthood takes over and transforms us all completely. Were supposed to be planning for this future, but in fact,
“I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Behind the façade of a mature woman in her twenties, more often than not, we’re all lost, unsure and confused about the path we are walking down. We’re told we need to settle, but long for nothing more than to get up and go to countries and cities our ancestors never had the chance to visit.
We’re told we need to work to the top of the business chain, but working in a coffee shop by a beach makes us feel a lot more fulfilled.
We’re told to marry, have children, and go to Pilates every weekday morning after the school drop-off, but I’m struggling to just complete just one university assignment on time.
Literally nothing is figured out for us. But it doesn’t mean were behind and doing everything wrong. Change the perspective and realise, it’s all going so wonderfully right. We’re still growing, still learning, and still changing. And there’s a whole, wide world out there that’s inviting us to experience these lost, wonderful years.
So, buy that house, if that’s what you want. And have the family you’ve always dreamed of. But if that’s not the case, then take those risks, travel to those cities and quit that terrible job. Your twenties aren’t a time to settle, it’s a time for the complete opposite.
Put yourself in uncomfortable positions, experience the struggles you will face, go through heartbreak, go through every ‘first time’ with a smile on your face, and just live.
So much is yet to be learned, so many people are yet to be met, and so much of your heart still has so much capacity. We need to open our eyes to how charming it is to be in your twenties, simply nothing is figured out, but everything is in the palms of our hands. And how exciting is that.
Edited by Isabel Butler